People in our life come and go, sometimes
suddenly and in surprising ways. Things can change swiftly.
Someone dies, moves away, or breaks up with us. Maybe we had little-to-no
warning, no opportunity to even say goodbye. Life is already full of
challenges, transitions, and changes, so when people we love or like are
swiftly out of our lives, we feel abandoned, cheated, and a little bit
lonelier. What we had for so long is no more, almost as if it never existed.
Authors also come into contact with people who
die, move, or just fall out of contact with them. Teachers and mentors,
publicists and marketers, bookstore owners and librarians, and reading fans—
they all come and go. Writers should keep seeking to expand their circle of
contacts, for it surely can shrink at any time.
I have had loved ones die suddenly, good friends
move away, colleagues I knew for 20 years go silent after a job change, and a
wife turn into an ex-wife. When these things unfold, we feel like pieces of
ourself broke off and go to a place they can’t be retrieved.
We need something of equal or greater value to
replace what we lost and miss, but it is not that easy. How can a deep
connection or long-standing relationship that gets severed have a replacement
ready to go?
We all mourn, to some degree, when significant
people leave us, regardless of the specific circumstances of how they came to
no longer be a part of our life.
Even stores and their workers close or come and go
with little notice, making our connection to the world a little smaller.
Did I get to say goodbye to a counter guy at the
neighborhood deli after he suddenly up and left after knowing him for 10 years?
How about the guy at my pizzeria, whom I have
known for 23 years, who has not been seen for months due to a battle with a
cancer that may take his life?
Or the bagel store owner whom I saw for
years until one day I learn he sold the place and left without a goodbye. How
do I reckon with these things?
Businesses get sold or go bankrupt, workers quit or
get fired, and owners retire. It is the normal ecosystem of a capitalist
economy, but it still stings a little when you don’t get to say goodbye.
So, what is my point here, other than to bemoan
how losses suck?
Let’s learn from this. Authors should make
relationships, lots of them. Keep up with them.
Realize you have an impact on others. Be aware
they can leave you anytime, from publishers and literary agents to editors and
readers. Nothing stays the same forever.
Need PR Help?
Brian
Feinblum, the founder of this award-winning blog, with over 3.9 million page
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successfully helping thousands of authors in all genres. Let him be your
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About Brian
Feinblum
Brian Feinblum should be
followed on www.linkedin.com/in/brianfeinblum. This is
copyrighted by BookMarketingBuzzBlog ©2024. Born and raised in Brooklyn, he now
resides in Westchester with his wife, two kids, and Ferris, a black lab rescue
dog, and El Chapo, a pug rescue dog. His writings are often featured in The
Writer and IBPA’s The Independent. This
award-winning blog has generated over 3.9 million pageviews. With 4,900+ posts
over the past dozen years, it was named one of the best book marketing blogs by
BookBaby http://blog.bookbaby.com/2013/09/the-best-book-marketing-blogs and recognized by Feedspot in 2021 and 2018
as one of the top book marketing blogs. It was also named by
www.WinningWriters.com as a “best resource.” For the past three decades,
including 21 years as the head of marketing for the nation’s largest book
publicity firm, and director of publicity positions at two independent presses,
Brian has worked with many first-time, self-published, authors of all genres,
right along with best-selling authors and celebrities such as: Dr. Ruth, Mark
Victor Hansen, Joseph Finder, Katherine Spurway, Neil Rackham, Harvey Mackay,
Ken Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Warren Adler, Cindy Adams, Todd Duncan, Susan
RoAne, John C. Maxwell, Jeff Foxworthy, Seth Godin, and Henry Winkler. He
hosted a panel on book publicity for Book Expo America several years ago, and
has spoken at ASJA, Independent Book Publishers Association Sarah Lawrence
College, Nonfiction Writers Association, Cape Cod Writers Association,
Willamette (Portland) Writers Association, APEX, Morgan James Publishing, and
Connecticut Authors and Publishers Association. His letters-to-the-editor have
been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York Post, NY
Daily News, Newsday, The Journal News (Westchester) and The Washington
Post. His first published book was The Florida Homeowner, Condo, &
Co-Op Association Handbook. It was featured
in The Sun Sentinel and Miami Herald.